🔗 Share this article

“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into canned food and shotguns.” That bit of shrewd guidance comes from the Brain Gremlin – a genetically modified, articulate, bespectacled member of the oozy monster mob that infests Manhattan’s super-smart Clamp Tower skyscraper in director Joe Dante’s unhinged continuation Gremlins 2: The New Batch. At first glance, it’s nothing more than an investment tip from one monster to another. Yet, oddly enough, it’s also pretty solid life guidance. Honestly, listen to my reasoning.

When situations deteriorate, the biggest mistake you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin comprehends this. Indeed, the majority of the dentally-gifted beasts that occupy Dante’s wild 1990 film (debateably his greatest) possess the same wry, meta sense of humour regarding the blurry line separating everyday life and unadulterated chaos. It’s a single component of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that keeps me coming back – and the older I get, it’s the underlying idea that echoes the loudest.

An Early Life Obsession

Of course, my connection with this movie didn’t start on such an philosophical plane. As a child, we only had a few scratched-up video tapes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its second chapter, the latter housed in a chunky ex-rental box likely purchased from an non-chain rental store and sporting snarling creatures on its worn-out artwork. I was right away smitten and these films did not delay lodging themselves inside my young, susceptible psyche. From then on, they became an almost-daily part of my early years entertainment regimen.

Dante’s first film usually receives all the plaudits, thanks mostly because of its legacy as a partly frightening holiday classic – and to be fair, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. However, its follow-up rarely gets the same level of high regard, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d invariably jump at the prospect to watch Gremlins 2. During bright summer vacations, I’d seclude myself indoors and pop it in. When I acquired my personal TV-VHS combo unit, it stayed in constant rotation in my bedroom. Over time, it ingrained itself in my psyche. If my parents detected this preoccupation, they didn’t seem to mind.

Subtler Rewards and Societal Nuggets

As I got older, new insights rewarded multiple watches, heightening the enjoyment of watching small emerald creatures gleefully trash a New York high-rise. I learned the forward-thinking property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was inspired directly by the later-to-be-president Donald Trump, with his ginger staff member Marla (Haviland Morris) alluding to his one-time partner Marla Maples. Thankfully, Clamp possesses greater compassion than his real-life counterpart.

The “apocalyptic” video Clamp plays during the height of creature carnage? I discovered it was modeled after a genuine “Doomsday” video created by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world truly faced apocalypse. I noticed how Dante went out of his way to film alternate cuts of a self-referential segment where Gremlins seize control of the actual feature in progress. A version for theaters, one for VHS and TV, each delivering a smirking slice of self-referential entertainment sorcery prior to the concept being mainstream.

An Enduring Legacy

While it was creature designer Rick Baker’s fantastically vile creatures that captured my attention as a child, this deeper gold held my interest as an adult. In time, I even conversed with Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation telling me he made the movie with the direct intention of poking fun at those who loved its goofy-but-heartfelt predecessor and wanted more. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he happily revealed. This anarchic defiance and commitment to not take his sequel as gravely as his Warner Bros bosses obviously desired, only increased my affection for it.

When I endured a unexpected loss in the family recently, I was taken aback to discover that, during my heightest mourning, all I desired to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Odd, no? Perhaps not. The comforting familiarity it furnished was essential to thin out my mind’s mourning mire – but the perspectives it had imparted to me as an adult were similarly beneficial.

Like Gremlins tearing apart a genetics laboratory, there’s particular aspects in life you just are powerless over. Dante understands this. The Brain Gremlin shares this wisdom. Sometimes, you have to be like them: welcome the pandemonium, put everything you’ve got into canned food and shotguns and try not to view the world with undue solemnity.

It’s strong life advice from a highly unexpected fountain – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will eternally stand as my comfort movie.